Ignorance is bliss

Confession time again.

A few weeks ago I noticed the eminent visage (ears and all) of one Ruben Thorne on the Crusaders bench sitting next to – at that stage injured – Richie McCaw.

The boyfriend then had to put up with all manner of gushing comments about a team coached by a former Canterbury (and All Black) Captain who was now drawing on the experience of his successor (in both jerseys), in what I assumed to be a consultant coaching capacity, alongside the current All Black (and sometime Canterbury) Captain. Outstanding.

Now the confessing – I would have been much less excited had I known the real reason Thorne had rejoined the fold.

Not in the consulting capacity I envisaged, he was actually there (as I would have known if I’d read more of the rugby press – a serious downside of writing this blog is that I don’t read nearly as much as I used to for fear of prejudicing my own commentary) … as an actual member of the touring 22!

The il-(or del)-lusion was shattered when I read Injury-cursed Crusaders stagger on, New Zealand Herald, 20 May 2011.

Where, as Dylan Cleaver eloquently put it: “There's depth … and then there's having to draft Brent Ward and Reuben Thorne into your squad, just to make sure you can name a match-day 22.”

It speaks volumes – well, maybe yells is more apt – about how much trouble the Crusaders are in on the injury front.

The casualty list reads like a whose who of All Blacks and contenders: Israel Dagg, Sean Maitland (both gone for the season), Sonny-Bill Williams, Kahn Fotuali'i, Matt Todd and Owen Franks. Its fortunate Cater and McCaw are back, as now the players who have been ably holding the fort have also been packed off to the infirmary (although Matt Berquist did manage an appearance with 2 minutes to go).

However, while Thorne (Reuben Thorne Ruben Thorne Ruben Thorn) didn't get off the bench, Brett Ward started on the wing against the comparatively 'new' boy on the block Sitiveni Sivivatu.

But, just as it seems they're living in the past, the Crusaders have apparently gone high tech. The large bump protruding from above the shoulders of the southern men is not a new form of protective gear ... It's a GPS!!

That's right, Toddie is now keeping a close eye on how much his boys run in the game - big brother style, no more 'lazy running' in this side.

The mainlanders faced another 'home' game away from fortress Cantabria ... This time a trip up north to Napier, closer to Chiefs territory than their own, and the cow bells were there to prove it.

Robbie Fruean got another shot to prove he's more than just Sonny Bill's sidekick, and fluffed it again with another very quiet night.

Guilford had another strong showing, seemed to be in everything, including an almost intercept off a Kahui pass which was the result of great vision from the form winger, and challenging hard on all Crusaders restarts.

Good rucking and counter rucking from both sides opened the game up and it felt like anything could happen.

The second half heralded the return of big bad Brad, and the first try of the match went to the only non-All Black in the Crusaders pack, Luke Ramano.

After a close contest in the first half, the Crusaders ran away with it a little in the second. Finally closing it out 25:19.

I obviously didn’t learn my lesson last week, and again tried to stay awake for the Rebels match in RSA – where the cameramen still haven’t figured out who Richard Kingi is – this time Cooper Vuna was elected ‘stand in’, and I was most surprised to see James Hilgendorf back on the field, I thought he was gone for the season after doing his knee against the Reds.

Needless to say, I dozed off – again!

But it appears I’ve created a monster. The boyfriend, who watched the entire game before hauling me off the couch, kept waking me up to complain about the referee: “Look at that, in from the side? BOLLOCKS!”

I was really looking forward to the Sharks Bulls game in Durban, where it’s good to see they’ve finally given up any pretence of having cheerleaders and now just call them the Flasher Girls right off the bat.

Now, I picked the Sharks, but based on their performance I can only plead sentimentality. They couldn’t stick a tackle, falling off 9 of 23 by the end of the first half and putting themselves under enormous pressure with dodgy handling.

The Bulls simply outmuscled the Springbok laden pack (although in fairness the Bulls aren’t short of the Green and Gold either….) and, in the end Patrick Lambie couldn’t knock over a penalty for the bonus point.